Dear Bart,

Is there no end to the shameless promotion for your new typeface — Crosby Crash Bold Condensed? When I examined the various stunts you’ve recently pulled to distract the public from their everyday lives, to focus on the release of your pathetic typographic ventures, I can’t be anything but embarrassed for you, and the profession as a whole.

First there was the staged “accident”, the prolonged rehabilitation process, the so-called “worried” staff, family and clients. Then the sabotage of the Cubs games, whose fans have waited 100 years for the opportunity to see the “Cubbies” play in a World Series. But the ultimate promotional gimmick comes with the rude rejection of my dinner invitation, thus throwing me off my game and my finely honed Sappi Standard speech, only to call attention to your plight and your damned typeface. Your unbound ego, plus the money grubbing attitude you’ve exhibited for years, exhibits itself in all these activities. Everyone sees through your thinly veiled scheme.

Be warned, that I have started up a petition to ban your typeface from ever being sold or used on this planet! There are already 3 signatures from my interns to validate this vital cause. The ground swell of activity is indicative of the firestorm of negative press that will greet you upon your release from rehabilitation!!! Stand ready my friend.

By the way, get better.

Kit